I have been on holiday this week (did not go anywhere) and did not intend to write a blog. However, hot on the heels of my recent CORNY COMPILATION, I am able to bring you a new set of 10 silly jokes to while away a few minutes of your time during the covid-19 lockdown.
They are of course up to my usual high standards, having been found in various locations on the Internet, in books and magazines but not, I am very proud to declare, Christmas crackers.
Once again, I hope you get a bit of a smile from some of them, stay safe and be positive.
Things will get better eventually.
HERE WE GO THEN…..
1. Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
2. Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it.
3. What’s E.T. short for? Because he’s only got little legs.
4. Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. One shouts to the other, “I need you to help me get to the other side!” The other guy replies, “You’re on the other side!”
5. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? Same middle name.
6. ‘I was not a particularly small child. I was the one who always got picked to play the part of Bethlehem in the school nativity.’ Jo Brand
7. ‘How do you want the lights?’ The club manager said.
‘What are my options?’ I said.
‘On or off,’ he replied. Les Dawson
8. The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called all of the staff to listen to a couple of his jokes. Everybody laughed at them except for one girl.
“What’s the matter?” grumbled the boss. “Haven’t you got a sense of humour?”
“I don’t have to laugh,” she replied. “I’m leaving on Friday.”
9. Is it at all widely known that the shooting of the Korda film about Nelson was held up because nobody could remember which arm it was that he lost? Arthur Marshall.
10. SIGN OF THE TIMES – A customer called a store and asked, “What time do you open?”
The manager replied, “What time can you get here?”
That’s it for now. I hope you could see the lighter side of them.
You can LAUGH AT LIFE WITH CHAIRMAN JOHN and read more jokes here, if you have time.
If you are interested in Solar Solve’s products you can read more information about our Type Approved sunscreens, anti-glare blinds or marine screens by typing what you are looking for into this website’s search box.
John Lightfoot MBE, Solar Solve Chairman